Family Estrangement Therapy in California
When protecting your family means distancing from the family you came from.
You've drawn a line you never wanted to draw. Whether it's your parents, in-laws, or people who were once close—you're choosing your peace and your child's wellbeing over relationships that cost too much. Therapy can help you navigate the grief, guilt, and clarity you need to protect what matters most.
What You’re Going Through
This was never what you wanted.
You tolerated their behavior for years. The criticism. The boundary violations. The way they made everything about them.
But now you have a child to protect. The line is harder, clearer. You won't let your kids experience what you did.
Maybe it's your mom who criticizes everything—your parenting, your body, your choices, who you are. Nothing you do is good enough.
Maybe it's in-laws who ignore your rules, undermine you, or say hurtful things disguised as "help."
Maybe it's a parent who wasn't there for you but suddenly wants to play grandparent—on their terms, when convenient. The "Facebook grandparent" posting photos they weren't even there for.
Maybe it's someone with untreated mental health or substance issues who refuses help but wants access to your kids. You won't subject them to that chaos.
Maybe they look great to outsiders but underneath it's toxic. Gaslighting. Self-centered. In and out when it suits them.
You've set boundaries. They violated them. You've asked for change. They made you the villain.
So you've chosen distance or estrangement. And you feel both confident and conflicted about the decision.
Other family members pressure you to reconcile. "But they're your mother." "Family is family." You're the bad guy in their narrative—selfish, ungrateful, keeping the kids away.
You question everything. What if you're wrong? What if your kids resent you? Do they deserve to have a relationship with them?
But you know: you're breaking generational patterns. You're protecting your child from what you have endured. You're choosing the family you've created over the family that hurt you.
That choice—even when right—is devastating.
How Therapy Helps
Therapy for family estrangement helps you navigate the grief, clarify your values, and hold boundaries without drowning in guilt. The weight of protecting your family from toxic dynamics—even when it means distancing from people you love—is heavy. I understand that grief, and you don't have to carry it alone.
We'll use ACT to define your "North Star"—what matters most to you as a parent and person. When guilt creeps in or others pressure you, we reconnect with those core values guiding your decisions.
Using CBT, we'll catch the negative thought patterns making you second-guess yourself. The "What if I'm wrong?" spirals. The guilt whispering you're a bad daughter. We'll clarify what's actually yours to carry versus what's theirs.
If there's trauma from your upbringing or recurring distressing thoughts, we'll use Accelerated Resolution Therapy (ART) to process those memories so they stop living rent-free in your head. The moments that replay. The things they said. The ways they made you feel. We can clear that out.
We'll work through the grief—for the person you wanted them to be, the support you deserved, the childhood you didn't have, the relationship your kids won't experience. We'll navigate external pressure from family and internal questioning about doing the right thing.
This work is about protecting your peace while honoring the complexity of loving people who hurt you.
What Gets Better
The guilt lessens. You stop feeling the need to explain yourself for protecting your child and your peace.
You feel confident in your choice every time someone pressures you or tries to make you feel like the villain.
You hold contradictions: You can love them and not let them in your life. You can grieve who they should have been and protect yourself from who they are. You can break generational patterns and still feel sad.
You stop shape shifting for people who won't change, no matter what you do. You stop hoping this time will be different. You accept them as they are and choose differently for your family.
You build the family culture you want—rooted in respect, safety, peace. Not chaos, criticism, and conditional love.
The grief doesn't disappear, but you carry it alongside confidence that you're doing what's right. You're the parent you needed. You're breaking the cycle.